Ugh… Can I just say that through a majority of my awakening as I peel back the layers and heal the shadows I find that I’m hiding SOME part of me?
Especially when it comes to being an entrepreneur, and most specifically when it comes to digital marketing – so frustrating!!!
When you’re marketing yourself, writing copy for your products or courses, that’s where you need to dig deep and be SUPER clear about who you are and what you’re selling.
And the thing is, for clients I do this very well and can completely connect to the transformation they’re offering and the thing that makes them unique.
But for myself?
Well, I think I’m putting it all out there only to discover that I am very sneakily sabotaging myself on an unconscious level.
Hiding my “woo” with words that people don’t quite understand so they don’t see the FULL real me online.
If you know me in “real life”, you will know that I’m very open about my passion for energy healing, healing with foods, and all things “woo” because I have this strong belief that there’s always another way for everything. Everything!
I use my intuition as a guide for my life and my family and it’s usually pretty spot on! It landed me in my dream house during a pandemic, has allowed abundance into our lives, and has helped me through unexplainable fatigue I had for years.
BUT, when it comes to being an online entrepreneur and digital marketing, I discovered that I stuck to some belief or way of doing things that held me back, without even realizing it!
And each time I fully believe it’s because some part of me was scared of being seen.
OR, some part of me did not feel WORTHY of being seen.
I’d love to say that I came from a happy and stable childhood, but that just wasn’t the case. And while I often feel I must overcome the poverty mindset I grew up with, I’m slowly learning it’s something else.
I often do not feel worthy.
As I’m saying it, it definitely doesn’t feel good to write it because it strikes such a chord with me.
My parents did not have TIME for me. My Dad was often busy with his shiny new family and my Mom reached a point in single motherhood where it did not seem she enjoyed being a mom.
In fact, it was like my sister and I were just suddenly on our own to feed ourselves, come up with money, and get ourselves where we needed to go.
She was TIRED and listening to me and giving me attention was not something she had the energy or desire to do.
And it has stuck with me.
Though she and I ended with a much better relationship… it has affected my entrepreneurial journey.
I recently completed a 5-Day Detox (I’ll tell you about how clearing the physical body moves these layers later!) and this layer of unworthiness showed up for healing.
When I was done, I realized something very specific about my online biz. I’ve spent so much time talking about “Intuitive” writing when it turns out, my clients and the people who connect with me were looking for something more.
I kept holding on to the same idea over and over because I liked it, but it seriously felt like I was shouting into a windy tunnel where no one could hear me.
People often said “I feel like I’m meant to work with you but I don’t want to write”. And I felt like I was meant to work with them but kept thinking the same thing over and over – which kept my biz small.
People NOT understanding you keeps you safe and small (even if that isn’t what you want!).
I wasn’t tuning in to what people wanted most from me and how I could BEST help them.
Over and over I was learning that people were not searching the term “intuitive writing” and over and over I kept trying to explain it. But if SEO is a big part of my strategy… using a term google shows people aren’t looking up? Well, that’s a much harder path than answering questions people are searching for.
But Intuitive Writing felt safer to me. And ultimately, it means I was putting myself out there but NOT being seen.
With social media, when you lack clarity you are basically HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT.
Whew… it was heavy to see this for myself, but once you know something like this it allows you to move forward. Hold the little Nicole who wasn’t seen and wasn’t heard and give her what she needs.
In THIS POST on “Does it feel safe to be seen in your biz?” I share more about some other reasons you may discover you’re hiding without even knowing it.
And I hope you offer yourself grace if you find this out about yourself too.
If you find that you’ve been working so hard at something and self-sabotaging it too, give yourself grace!
Stressing about the results of a failed launch or wondering why people don’t understand what you’re saying… only to find there was a better way to say it (if only you had been ready to EMBODY it). Well, it happens and it’s seriously part of the journey of an entrepreneur.
The thing is, the truth comes to you when you are ready to receive it. When you are asking why you are stuck and you are ready to hear the answer and move forward.
That’s why we find these things out layer by layer as they are brought to us for healing.
We’re supposed to hit walls and barriers so we know where we need to grow.
So from now on, you’ll hear my talk about being an Intuitive Biz Consultant because I help spiritual entrepreneurs attract their clients to them by being clear and VISIBLE. I help them NOT hide in plain sight. And whereas writing is my beautiful tool, they can use video, social media, live appearances – anything that works for THEM.
Because I KNOW I’m here on this planet to serve my soul clients and help them create more ease and peace in their businesses. But when they couldn’t find me, I felt sad and got stuck in a spiral where I used to second guess all my social media and marketing. And there are much better uses for our energy than that!
Showing up, being seen, it allows your people to find you – thank goodness!
I’d love to hear from you. Have you discovered some way that you thought you were putting yourself out there only to find out you weren’t? Lmk if this has happens to you too!
