I see them suddenly. So clearly. My great, great Grandmother. My great grandmother. My Mother. My grandmother on my father’s side.

They are all here to tell me something and they speak both at once and with images in the way that information often comes when you are in meditation. Both the verbal and the knowing.

They tell me that I’m the first woman in our line to pursue her dreams.

It’s a lot to take in and I wonder about it for a moment. Could that be true? No other woman in our entire ancestral line figured out what they really wanted to do with their lives, dreamed big and pursued it?

That’s when they show me this is true.

They show me my Great, Great Grandmother toiling on a remote piece of land in Iowa. She is not unhappy, but it’s not a fulfilling life. It’s one of necessity and getting by. It’s about having food, reaping what you sow, and daily life is hard.

Then I see my paternal grandma who used to play piano at silent movies. I always thought that was so cool and her “claim to fame.” She says to me, “Do you think I wanted to play piano in a dark theater where no one could see me?” I say that I thought she did. She says, “No. I wanted to play in Carnegie Hall.” This surprises me. I see now how her life was little and how few choices she had when her husband died in the war leaving her with two small children to raise alone in the 1940’s.

I see my Mom then. I see her life was about going to school, meeting your husband and having children like women were supposed to back then. While she loved us and loved being a mom, her life was not about finding her passion and going for it, it was about doing what was expected of you and not deviating from it. By the time the world began changing so she could feel those dreams, she was a single mom with two small children living paycheck to paycheck.

I see my Great Grandmother who was once a “Rosie the Riveter.” The one my dad has said didn’t like men much. She shows me how it was such a man’s world that the options for women were so limited that she too did not feel she had a choice as to how she wanted to live her life.

They all speak at once to say that things are different for women now. Where I am and the world as it is now, I can make choices that they did not feel they could make.

“You are the first in our line of women to have the opportunity to pursue her dreams. You are doing it and it’s important for all of us,” I hear.

I see they are not talking about success or college degrees. My sister and I both graduated college and went on to get advanced degrees. I had a well-paying job and moved up the corporate ladder.

This is not what they mean.

They are talking about my decision to do something from the heart. To pursue awakening, writing and they are talking about the vision I’ve been seeing where I’m leading a workshop. I can see it so clearly. I’m on a stage, in my favorite capris that look like they are ripped but they are not really. I’m wearing a tank top and a loose, sheer kimono-style cover up that is one of my favorites and makes me feel stylish.

I feel honored to be representing our female family line and healing these wounds. I’m not even sure they’re will be more women in our line as my sister and I have both had boys and you never know.

I don’t know if I will succeed in my pursuit but I have been trying every day for the past ten years and see now that these ancestor spirits have been behind me all the way.

Maybe they are the reason I don’t give up when my mind is screaming “Why don’t you do something else? Something easier?”

Maybe they are the reason I feel so passionate about using my voice, getting it into the world, and helping others do the same.

Maybe this pattern can be healed for all of us?

I see my sister is not far behind me with her passion for photography. If I can take this step, it opens the door for her too in some way.

I see my feminine line. I acknowledge that I’ve received their message and thank them. I return to the room of healers where we are coming back from meditation and I have the same fierce commitment I had before we took those first, few calming breaths but this time, I feel I have unseen support on my side. I feel I’m doing this with my line instead of alone.

I have support.

The voices of my ancestors have lifted me in a way I cannot explain.

Is it time for you to follow your dreams too? Do you think it will break a pattern for you ancestry if you do? I’d love to hear about it in the comments.