Oh boy. When I first started REALLY connecting to my intuition and healing gifts and understanding that they actually can work, I wanted to help everybody.

And I mean everyone.

Whether they wanted my help or not.

Which is the point I want to make. There are people, believe it or not, who do not want our help.

They may not trust us. They may not be ready to try something new and they may just plain be stuck and want to stay there for a while.

If you are a lightworker, it’s not your job to shine light on people who are not WANTING you to.

There’s that great quote by Anne Lamott – “Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.”

You see, if you feel you are a lightworker (see: What Kind of Lightworker Are You?) it makes perfect sense you want to help others. You’re born to help basically.

But you also need to honor the journey of others which is why I learned a word that I think every lightworker should adopt into their lives and start applying it when they feel that call to help.

DISCERNMENT.

Now I don’t mean this in the biblical sense (and was surprised to even discover it was tied to the bible as I was hearing this word and decided to look it up).

I mean learning to discern where your energy is most needed, most valued and most well-received.

It’s like if you try to play catch with someone but there is a brick wall in between you. You can throw the ball all day but the outcome isn’t going to change and you are going to get tired.

A better choice would be to move away from the wall and throw it to a person so they can actually catch it.

That’s the more “discerning” choice.

This can apply to your friendships, the activities you do in your life (are they adding value or detracting value?), and how you use your spiritual gifts.

Because they are gifts and you don’t want to give them to just anybody.

Which isn’t the same as helping others. If you can lend a helping hand to someone in need – do it, please!

But if that person isn’t wanting your help? Take those same resources to someone who is.

It’s hard sometimes to know the difference, but the obvious clue is if someone asks for your help on a regular basis but never takes your advice. They are not the person you can most help. You can give them clues to what would help them, offer advice here and there, but don’t spend your time trying to make them listen. Even if it’s a loved one and you love them dearly.

Your energy is best spent by using judgement as to what feels expansive and what feels constrictive. If spending time with a person, giving away your gifts feels good – then it is!

If it feels draining, sad, frustrating and awful – then it is that too.

For lightworkers, sending out your light and having it not reach people actually feels sad and depleting. Like turning on a hose to water the grass but instead you water the cement and the grass starts dying.

Having it connect as it’s meant to feels uplifting and positive.

Too often we don’t think about who and where our energy is going – we just feel the desire to give and we do.

Being discerning with our time, energy and even friendships is IMPORTANT. Because we only have so much energy and light to share and when we deplete it, it shrinks, when we feed it, it grows.

So you want to be discerning about where your time is going.

Right?

Not mean, not stingy, “discerning.”

You have important things to do, gifts to share – use your time and energy wisely!

How about you? Are you chasing boats trying to shine your light on them, or shining brightly right where you are? Let me know, in the comments.

XOXO,