I’m a writer at heart. I LOVE to write. It lights me up like no other and I can spend the day talking about it if anyone is willing to discuss it.

I often share how I think it’s healing… how I think it’s therapeutic…how I feel we connect to people through writing and how we can inspire people to feel things through writing (see: Does Your Writing make you Cry?).

But, being a full-time writer I also like to hermit. I go through these intense and self-reflective periods where I don’t like to be on social media or say how I’m feeling until I’m through it.

Otherwise, it would look like this:

“OMG, today I’m overwhelmed by the energy in the world and in my house.”

“Hey guys I’m happy, grateful, life is good.”

“OMG, today I’m overwhelmed by the energy in the world and in my house.”

“Hey guys I’m happy, grateful, life is good.”

“OMG, today I’m overwhelmed by the energy in the world and in my house.”

“Hey guys I’m happy, grateful, life is good.”

It wouldn’t look pretty in other words and I wouldn’t feel good sharing it.

I know that being real and authentic is important. And people like the “realness” we can show even on social media, but for me – I just want to figure my sh*t out and I don’t want to consistently do it in front of people.

I need my quiet self-retreat time.

I usually write my way through it and share it but I want to be able to edit it.

However, this makes it hard to grow an online business if I don’t show up on occasion or consistently.

The Challenge.

When I heard Deb LaFlamme on THIS podcast with Emily Aarons, I immediately connected with her and her message.

She is so passionate about social media, how to grow it but in a way that feels good for you and the audience.

She teaches how to get engagement and growth and I highly recommend her 30-day challenge if you see it come up again (you’ll see why below).

It seemed like if this person can’t help me figure out social media – no one can!

I committed.

I committed to showing up on social media for 30-days in a row. I took a picture of how many followers I had in the beginning (as is part of the challenge) and I dug deep to follow the suggested prompts, put out content every day for 30 days (or schedule it in advance to be present for 30 days), and be part of this challenge.

I can tell you that I felt inspired by Deb’s daily posts and we engaged by sharing ours with each other. I chose Facebook as my platform (the challenge has you choose one) and I engaged in the comments.

People were in engaging with my posts. I had a few comments from people I hadn’t seen before and they said they felt connected to what I was sharing, but…

The results.

My following did not grow, even with all this effort.

I felt depleted.

It took me quite a while to come up with an image for the posts each day because I feel those catch more attention than words alone.

My personal and professional writing took a back seat to this challenge.

I didn’t see how this would lead to more copywriting or editing work for me at this rate.

It was time to look at some hard truths.

My personal takeaway on being a social media influencer.

Most of the time I’m not a high energy or bubbly person. I’m passionate about writing, sure, but my way of expressing that is to write.

I LOVE to write blog posts and I LOVE to share them on Pinterest which has been a nice source of traffic for me along with organic traffic via google.

I believe my social media following didn’t grow because my heart isn’t in posting on social media every day or thinking up 30-days worth of content to schedule.

It’s like this – when my kids were much younger, I used to accidentally dress us all in the same color. We’d be at the park and I would notice we were all in blue, or red (or someone would comment how cute it was that we were all in the same color).

I finally figured out that I dressed us in the same color because I dressed in how I felt. So if I was feeling red that day, we were all in red. Yellow, same.

Social media is like that for me. I have days when I crave connection and am dying to share insight or something inspiring, and there are simply days when I don’t.

And I don’t know which day I will feel which way.

Social media influencer, I am not.

“I’m not cut out to be consistent on social media and I suck at scheduling it out in advance.”

There it is. The bottom line.

What if I can’t DO social media?

Here’s what I will say, I’m grateful for the challenge because it was the incentive and inspiration I needed to really look at how I spend my time.

Knowing that I don’t want to show up every day on social media, it inspired me to look at where I DO want to show up.

It permitted me to FINALLY accept that it isn’t for me to be “out there” all the time, though I have nothing against others that do and appreciate that they can do it.

But I also know if I’m going to have an online business, I do need to find my happy medium between all or none.

Otherwise, people can’t find you!

For me, that means spending time on Pinterest pins and posting, nurturing my email subs, and spending more time on SEO and keywords.

That way I can show up when I’m feeling it, and skip it when I’m not feeling it.

I just don’t want it to be fake for the sake of a marketing strategy.

We’ve all seen the people putting out videos and lives where they are so uncomfortable and you just feel so bad for them. If they allowed themselves to believe that there were other marketing strategies then they wouldn’t push to be live before they were ready. They could record (and rerecord) videos having fun with it until they were ready to go live.

The interesting part.

When I gave myself permission to let go of social media as a self-imposed requirement, my word-of-mouth business started growing. I believe it’s because I just focused on what I’m good at (writing!), and stopped my worry-induced-social-media-growth strategy.

To be SUPER clear – I AM a fan of social media and all it provides (I’m tentatively stepping into Instagram). But if you’re like me, you may need to write down a bunch of content and hire it out or get someone to manage yours who is great at it if it’s not your thing.

I also think being a social media influencer is awesome and I encourage doing anything you are passionate about – anything.

I’m just saying if you don’t feel connected to it, if it makes you uncomfortable, if it doesn’t feel good to you – then there are other marketing strategies and other ways to grow your business.

Having a great opt-in and good email sequence may be more valuable and more lucrative than Facebook. And something about writing emails to people who have opted into my freebie that interested them connects more to my soul as a writer – even if the emails are occasionally automated.

We’re all different and I don’t think there’s a one size fits all approach to digital marketing – but I have learned that we need to know our strengths and weakness and stop FORCING it.

Whew.

Such a freeing feeling when we just admit where we shine and where we don’t, isn’t it?

I’d love to hear from you. What areas do you force yourself to show up in your business and have you stopped to wonder if you TRULY have to? Can you hire it out or let it go???

Let me know in the comments.

XOXO,

P.S. If you are ready to grow your social media influence with Facebook or Instagram (is Twitter still a thing?) I highly recommend Deb LaFlamme – her name has the word “flame” in it for goodness sakes. I feel she is a breath of fresh air in this area and that’s how I could confidently say that this wasn’t for me right now (because I felt it was the best I could do!). Worst case, you’ll know if you are in or out when it comes to being a social media influencer.

It can be subtle. You may not even know it. But I’ve come to the realization I’ve been scattering my energy (for years!) and I want to point it out to you in case you are too so that you too can get the heck passed it!

I first heard the term “don’t scatter your energy” in yoga.

We were coming up from shavasana and the teacher said, “Keep your eyes closed for now, you don’t want to scatter your energy.”

At first I thought, “What? How is that scattering our energy to see what we are doing???”

But the more I practiced sitting up with my eyes closed and keeping them that way until we bowed with our final “Namaste,” I felt the difference. I felt how much more focused the end of class could feel if I waited to open my eyes until my yoga practice for the day was complete.

I didn’t realize I was doing the same thing in my business until very recently.

I had heard that I needed to be focused (I’m clairaudient). That message was making its way to me on the regular… but I didn’t see how I wasn’t completely focused!

You see, because my business has always felt like a a calling, I thought the universe would fully support it if I made the effort to show up. If I remained a clear channel (which is no small amount of dedication believe me!) and put out consistently good content and advice, the traffic would come to my website and I would be financially supported.

I worked on my abundance blocks. 🧘

I healed my inner child.👶

And the traffic came in a very small trickle compared to a mountain of effort I was making.

Does any of this sound familiar to you?

I see it so often. People start their websites or Instagram accounts and say, “You guys I’m so excited! I’m out of the spiritual closet and I created this!”

And I always think the same thing. “If only they knew that those first few steps end up being the easiest part of making a living if your calling is your business.” It’s a very important, critical step in your healing journey, don’t get me wrong, but it doesn’t just end up being effortless and easy in most cases. In fact, I don’t personally know anyone where it’s been that easy but I’m sure there are some out there… maybe???

Instead, it’s so much more.

I recently heard the term “hope marketing” and realized that yes, that has been my strategy. I put myself out there and I hoped it worked.

The video where I heard the term said, “Hope marketing never works.”* Yikes!

It certainly didn’t work for me and last May I started to hear and ever present “Change or Die.”** It was a reference to a book I read in Grad School and I finally understood that if I didn’t learn marketing and sales I would have to give up on my dreams.

That simple.

“Change or Die.”

What it comes down to is putting out effort and energy can be like the shotgun effect. Scattered everywhere and hoping it lands on something that works.

And believe me, I mediated every day and made sure I was listening to my inner guidance with ALL my content.

It wasn’t enough, it was scattered energy and hope marketing for YEARS!

Not to depress you, instead I want you to think in terms of strategy.

The question to ask yourself is, “Is the effort I’m putting out, coming back to me as something fulfilling and/or lucrative?”

If you are putting out a blog post, is it coming back as traffic to your website?

If you are getting the traffic to your website, is it turning into something that financially supports you?

It doesn’t have to be icky which is where I was really stuck for awhile (see my thoughts on the creepy email marketing HERE). Instead, it should be a seamless route to your words of wisdom for those who will benefit from it and it in turn has a means to financially support you.

Whatever you want to do has a means to financially support you – that’s why it’s coming to YOU.

There is a way to do it and now that I’ve learned it, I understand that almost every book I’ve bought, every eCourse, every free seminar that I’ve signed up for which lead to a sale – has been employing the exact same methods.

Not because they are slimy or salesy, but because they work!

And the reason it works is not because it’s a gimmick. It works because people get to know you and how you think and how you can support them BEFORE you offer a product or service.

It’s about trust and relationship building.

If you are putting out your words of wisdom, your healing energy, your great advice all over the place without a plan, it may or may not reach anyone… Maybe a few.

Whereas if you know how to tie everything together you will see that the energy has a focus, an intent, and a way to really get out there and reach people.

You have to understand your target and learn how to aim.

Of course there is a healing component to this.

If you are not ready to be heard, you probably won’t be.

I have no doubt the information I needed to understand how to market and sell came at a time when I had healed the parts of me that weren’t ready before.

Which is why I say that any action is good action because you are moving forward and you have to start somewhere. By the time I had this understanding, I’m shocked by the amount of content I have to turn into eBooks, blog posts and eCourses. It’s all written and because I showed up every day dedicated to writing it’s all there and some of it I don’t even remember writing! So cool…

So when you are ready, really ready to be an entrepreneur or in the career of your dreams, it really does become about “focused thought” and where your attention is going.

That’s the difference between supporting yourself and pushing until you burnout (see: You can HAVE it all, but not if you DO it all, aka “Burnout.”).

“Change or die.”

It doesn’t mean actually die. It means your dream.

It should be “change so you don’t have to give up your dream!” Right?

How about you?

Is your dream falling into place or are you too scattering your energy?

I’d love to hear about it in the comments.

XOXO,

*Jeff Walker “Product Launch Formula” webcast.

**Book referenced Good to Great. Why Some Companies Make the Leap and Others Don’t.

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Here’s the thing about discovering your life’s purpose. When you feel this strong, intense, all consuming feeling that you need to bring a creation into the world, or follow a specific path, that doesn’t mean that you CREATE it and the universe then GETS IT OUT INTO THE WORLD.

I really thought it did mean that though.

Being an Intuitive or a Visionary isn’t enough! I KNOW this first hand.

This post may contain affiliate links. Please read our disclosure for more info.

I had a “calling”. I threw myself into it and I created beautiful, meaningful and what-felt-like-divinely-inspired content.

I felt completely aligned with my life’s purpose, like I was tapped into what I’m here on this planet to do – and it went NOWHERE.

People didn’t understand what I was doing. They didn’t understand what I could offer them or how I could help them (and I felt so strongly that I COULD help!).

It felt frustrating and painful and all the while I was remembering the phrase “If you build it they will come” and wondering why I had built it, labored over it, passionately supported it, invested in it, invested in myself, healed my shadows and they not only weren’t coming, it felt like no one understood me or what I was about.

It was frustrating to say the least.

I learned this lesson the hard way and have seen and commiserated with countless others of you about this same thing.

Which is why I want to tell you the idea “If you build it they will come” has really messed us all up when it comes to stepping into our life’s purpose.

It’s really, “If you build it, you’d better be able to clearly market it” or no one will ever see it.

The universe gives you the inspiration – the rest is up to you!

The fact of the matter is, if people don’t know why you are saying something, how you can help them, or what you are talking about… they just won’t get it.

And if they don’t get it, they don’t sign up for your membership, your digital programs, or your services.

Or, if they’re buying your services and now you’re ready to go scale your business (upleveling, woot woot!) but you can’t clearly explain that – same thing.

It’s like screaming into a crowd at a rock concert and no one can hear you. You’re around people, but your words reach no one!

There is hope in this though. It means, the universe gave you a message, service, or creation to deliver into the world, and the next step is to commit to this gift and get it out there come hell or high water, as they say.

YOU, need to be the one to bring it into the physical world and get it to its soul mate audience who are praying for the solutions YOU have.

YOU.

What I’ve discovered is that our life purpose often provides the most growth in this uncomfortable phase of aligning to it and making it happen!

As lightworkers, energy healers, intuitives, and spiritual people, we tend to spend so much time on Inner Work (What’s blocking us? What is our mindset? Why isn’t this manifesting?) that we forget about the good old fashioned grind in our business.

Mentors, energy healing, spiritual growth – it’s all worthwhile and good, don’t get me wrong.

Time on your own personal development is ALWAYS time well spent as is time spent on your personal growth.

BUT, what I am saying is if you expect the personal growth and the inner work to carry you across the finish line, it’s going to be a long and frustrating road for you.

If you take on any business that is entrepreneurial in nature, you need to be able to execute your vision and market.

Bottom line.

You can’t sit spinning your wheels as to why your business isn’t growing if you haven’t been marketing, watching for the return on your invested time and money, and monitoring it the way you would a speedometer on the dashboard of your car.

When you push the gas, you reach a certain speed. You can see it.

Being on entrepreneur is the same thing.

If you host a webinar and no one shows up, it doesn’t mean you aren’t amazing. It just means maybe they didn’t understand who you were, what your message is or it didn’t reach enough people.

It’s data and then you need to readjust.

Your life purpose might be separate from being an entrepreneur, but most of us who are taking a spiritual path HATE WORKING FOR OTHER PEOPLE.

True story. Pursuing your life purpose is usually intertwined with owning your own business.

If you have any kind of online product, service or business, the reality is that you must embrace Digital Marketing.

Because creation happens so much in our feminine side, it is very tricky to then just switch to the masculine (action) without it feeling “icky.” You don’t want to feel salesy, or pushy, or constantly berating people over the head with your products and services.

And believe me, you can find thousands of aggressive marketing digital and live courses to keep you busy for eons about this exact thing.

I’ve watched countless videos, taken courses, read the books, listened to the podcasts and I can tell you that there is one program that has helped me more than any other.

The reason I love it is because it values TIME.

Not just TIME, but “EXTRA TIME.”

This “extra time” is your self-care. Your family fun. Your time with your kids, your brunch with your girlfriends, your trip the spa for a facial, or your daily meditation practice (or unexpected homeschooling due to Covid-19!).

The “extra” that I would argue is where the divine inspiration and creative ideas come from.

So it’s not really “extra” which is why I love this program so much.

Best of all, it doesn’t have a crazy price tag.

I’m talking about the Boss Mom NURTURE TO CONVERT SOCIETY.

This society is truly that – a society. It has video courses with actual videos on how to create valuable content starting with your easy wins (do NOT skip the “Create your Easy Yes video” – it’s a game changer!).

You see, it’s centered around being clear about your message and showing up – but with automation so that you can handle a crisis when your kid gets sick for a week, summer vacation starts and your productivity time goes out the window, or the day when it’s gloomy out and you just feel like sitting on the couch binging Netflix shows…

Knowing how to set up your digital marketing and your email funnel FORCES  you to really sit down and figure our your consistent message.

Authentic consistency is the key to growth.

Best of all, you get access to a FB community to run ideas by. To be able to say, “I’m thinking about these three offers, which one catches your attention?” and get feedback is invaluable!

Plus, a community to be able say, “I’m having a shit day with my business and I could use a little support.”

It’s “all the things”, as they say.

Shockingly, it’s affordable. For $47 per month you get access to all the learning, courses, and templates you can dream of… plus the community. You get to learn and apply at your own pace and begin freeing yourself up to get the EXTRAS in life, and you can cancel at any time.

Dana explains things in a way that I just wasn’t getting before. It wasn’t making sense and it wasn’t for a lack of effort!

The most valuable courses are the ones you can understand and begin applying right away.

The cherry on top is that Dana Malstaff is a Boss Mom herself (she created it!) and values time. So she isn’t going to tell you to spend countless hours on everything. INSTEAD, she is going to tell you how to get really strategic and specific so that you can come up with a really good system that works and then scale it.

Foundation.

But don’t just take my word for it! Check out the group to see what others are saying and decide for yourself.

NURTURE TO CONVERT SOCIETY

I really hope my fellow intuitives and visionaries get this because it took me 9 years of what became an expensive hobby before I understood that it was up to me to get my content into the world AND into the right hands.

It was never just about the money. But if we can’t make money that keeps us high vibe where we can create at our best, it lowers our vibe to where we end up both not creating and not making a profit.

Which is NOT where you want to be!

Check out the Nurture to Convert Society HERE.

You’ll learn how to stay connected to the people who opt in to your email list and not just get them there and drop ‘em like they’re hot.

The people who really get this and understand it are the ones who are making the money and working less hours!

Which is a great goal and a small investment of both time and money to get you there.

You are spending the time, but are you spending it in the right places?

NURTURE TO CONVERT SOCIETY

Believe me, I was so immediately impressed by the Nurture to Convert Society that I asked to be an affiliate right away because I was telling everyone about it.

But back to your life purpose for a sec.

If you are answering a calling, devoting time to your life’s purpose and it feels you are building it but they are not coming, this is the information that is incredibly helpful, told in a heartfelt way.

It’s up to you to get your message out into the world. It’s a BIG part of the journey that cannot be skipped.

Digital marketing is critical if you are going to be heard in a crowded Internet space. C-R-I-T-I-C-A-L.

I feel very lucky to have found the NURTURE TO CONVERT SOCIETY to get the missing pieces of getting my message into the world and having people actually understand me and connect to me.

I hope to see you in there!

XOXO,

P.S. It truly is nurturing content so you are connecting to your soul mate audience, not just trying to get a sale, but getting your useful content in the hands of the people who will actually use it! This toolkit is truly merging the “action” with your creations so YOU get it into the world.

P.P.S. If you do sign up let me know! I can welcome you in the group.

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Oh boy. When I first started REALLY connecting to my intuition and healing gifts and understanding that they actually can work, I wanted to help everybody.

And I mean everyone.

Whether they wanted my help or not.

Which is the point I want to make. There are people, believe it or not, who do not want our help.

They may not trust us. They may not be ready to try something new and they may just plain be stuck and want to stay there for a while.

If you are a lightworker, it’s not your job to shine light on people who are not WANTING you to.

There’s that great quote by Anne Lamott – “Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.”

You see, if you feel you are a lightworker (see: What Kind of Lightworker Are You?) it makes perfect sense you want to help others. You’re born to help basically.

But you also need to honor the journey of others which is why I learned a word that I think every lightworker should adopt into their lives and start applying it when they feel that call to help.

DISCERNMENT.

Now I don’t mean this in the biblical sense (and was surprised to even discover it was tied to the bible as I was hearing this word and decided to look it up).

I mean learning to discern where your energy is most needed, most valued and most well-received.

It’s like if you try to play catch with someone but there is a brick wall in between you. You can throw the ball all day but the outcome isn’t going to change and you are going to get tired.

A better choice would be to move away from the wall and throw it to a person so they can actually catch it.

That’s the more “discerning” choice.

This can apply to your friendships, the activities you do in your life (are they adding value or detracting value?), and how you use your spiritual gifts.

Because they are gifts and you don’t want to give them to just anybody.

Which isn’t the same as helping others. If you can lend a helping hand to someone in need – do it, please!

But if that person isn’t wanting your help? Take those same resources to someone who is.

It’s hard sometimes to know the difference, but the obvious clue is if someone asks for your help on a regular basis but never takes your advice. They are not the person you can most help. You can give them clues to what would help them, offer advice here and there, but don’t spend your time trying to make them listen. Even if it’s a loved one and you love them dearly.

Your energy is best spent by using judgement as to what feels expansive and what feels constrictive. If spending time with a person, giving away your gifts feels good – then it is!

If it feels draining, sad, frustrating and awful – then it is that too.

For lightworkers, sending out your light and having it not reach people actually feels sad and depleting. Like turning on a hose to water the grass but instead you water the cement and the grass starts dying.

Having it connect as it’s meant to feels uplifting and positive.

Too often we don’t think about who and where our energy is going – we just feel the desire to give and we do.

Being discerning with our time, energy and even friendships is IMPORTANT. Because we only have so much energy and light to share and when we deplete it, it shrinks, when we feed it, it grows.

So you want to be discerning about where your time is going.

Right?

Not mean, not stingy, “discerning.”

You have important things to do, gifts to share – use your time and energy wisely!

How about you? Are you chasing boats trying to shine your light on them, or shining brightly right where you are? Let me know, in the comments.

XOXO,

At yoga class last week, the instructor told us the story about how she’d called to check in on her niece her first week of middle school. Her niece told her all about how everyone had this specific backpack now, nothing about the actual classes and ended with “But I’m here for it.” She asked her about that phrase and she told her “it’s something everyone is saying.”

Think about what a great saying that is “I’m here for it.” So I don’t have the backpack that everyone else has that I really want, but I’m showing up 100% anyway – that’s really what she was saying (whether or not she meant it).

We spent the entire class, holding poses MUCH longer than is comfortable and the instructor kept reminding us “Be here for it.” In other words, don’t drift off when it’s uncomfortable or your legs start shaking – stay present. It’s what life is, isn’t it? Showing up for the good, the bad, the ugly?

Even when you have a million things to do at once and you are just one person.

Even when the kids take their bad day out on you and you are exhausted from it.

It’s when you all have giggling fits at bedtime or when you see someone’s face who makes you smile.

It’s the times you sit in the sand at the beach or on your favorite park bench.

It’s when you’re driving in traffic and cars are moving impulsively all around you and you need to be on your toes.

I feel so lucky that I get to be here for it.

It’s what’s helped me figure out my business and really follow my dreams. Being here for every moment – all of it!

How about you? Are you here for it too?

XOXO,

I’ve talked about it before, how we have to choose what we want to do after a certain point. We tend to receive a calling, but that doesn’t mean we are ready for it.

I truly believe most of us HEAL into our calling, rather than STEP into our calling. We need to grow!

Which means at times we can feel very stuck.

As if our current job doesn’t feel right but applying for a new one doesn’t feel right either.

I remember that feeling well. I would look at jobs and just the thought of applying to them made me want to throw up!

I knew I had reached a place where I needed to be doing something high vibe but I didn’t know what it was yet.

So what can you do if you find yourself in this situation?

You can manifest based on how you want to FEEL.

Instead of focusing on manifesting what you want to DO, when you are uncertain of your next steps you try focusing on how you want to feel instead.

Imagine, it’s the end of work day, how do you want to feel?

Accomplished?

Happy?

Like your ideas were heard and appreciated?

Maybe you want to feel like you set goals and reached them?

Perhaps you want to feel like you used your creative skills or gifts daily.

What does it really feel like when you finish your work day on a high note?

You can manifest from that place. Try saying, “Universe, I know I’m on my way to my big picture vision, but in the meantime I’d like to support myself financially with something that feels ____________________.”

We can be happy and well paid on the way to our dream job. In fact it’s easier to manifest from feeling than from thinking (if you ask me).

Rome wasn’t built in a day, but that doesn’t mean we are meant to suffer until the last stone is placed.

This idea of manifesting based on how you want to feel sounds easy, but is freaking POWERFUL. Day dream about it! Spend a few minutes a day feeling what it would feel like to be happy in your job, have passive income coming it – FEEL IT!

Then watch how the universe can shift things for you.

If you want to go deeper with this idea of how to manifest your dream job, I offer a digital course on how to Write Your Future. I show you how to clear AND manage your energy so you can manifest with PURE intention to Write Your Future the way YOU want it to be! You can find it here: Write Your Future.

So what is it? How do you want to feel in your current job or your next one? I’d love to hear about it in the comments.